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8月23日 homebodyops i did it again! oH well i just stayed at home the whole day again. i realised now i dun raealli wanna go out not even for meals, i would just hole up at home. not getting very inspired abt the new proj but i need to show some concept tom. mabbe its not abt no inspiration its just no motivation. i need to meditate on the info i got, the pics i got, the feeling i got... OHM......
 i should go there one evening and breathe the bay wind a bit. mabbe sat night. weekend night. it'll be a different ambience altogether. sigh... one fullerton perfect to go with a date but ain't got one... prob need to talk to some old forgeys asn ask them abt the historical meaning they hold to it. aiyoh better dun let them know i called them old forgeys if not they wun ever tell me anything... hahaha..
wat should it be... wat should it be... 8月20日 tired...argh... i am so sleepy now but i have to get the ppt for the site study done tonight. I only had 4 hrs of sleep last night. yah yah its my fault cos i went ktv with maps pple till 3am when i left. and Gasps!! they are still there.... since i had morning lect i had to wake up early as well.. it had been packed with activity since then. I din even get the nap i wanted to....
the ktv session was kinda fun tho i was not totally insane with them. i was surprised to find out that it is a late night session and even more surprised by the turn out. i thot it will be a small group thingy as i guessed singing isn't much of an interest to most of them. arh... it turn out that most of the peeps are there cos its a boozing session more than a singing session. its the first time i drank at a ktv. the room was huge with a small platform, projection tv and dice and shakers.... truly a place of "vices". after a few rounds of bluff and drinking they just went insane lah. hahaha.... so now i see the entertainment is in the loony things pple do when they get tipsy and not the singing. the only singing part is prob the start when they forced nng and boon kit to sing thai songs. and realli, they seem to know that unless they sing they will never get away with it. so they just choose 2 songs and gamly get it done and over with. they might just be the most "evil" bunch of pple i ever know. i should have expected the insanity. they were close to begin with and after a couple of drinks, things just went out of hand. of course, unintentionally, things got 'intimate' between some, crazy acts beyond the usual composure, zany role playing. some simply slept when they are drunk, some totally lost it, simply put all the gaurds and pretense were down. i guess i can only be like that when i am realli comfy with the group of pple. and honestly i have not found it yet. i protect myself too much to allow that to happen. cos you never know, you never... its easy to see why pple get hitched easily over drinks cos both parties have lost their usual sense of consciousness and well, properness. but okay i am evil too laughing at the expense of other pple's drunkedness. i kinda wondered why i was there since i can never be part of craziness, partly cos i am allergic to alcohol and also becos i can never be part of their open conversation on the sexual topics. i was totally surprised that it was nng that can engage realli well with dawn in these intimate details but boon kit just diam diam listen. hahaha appearence do deceive. makes me wonder wat nng whispered into dawn that ACTUALLI made her blush!!! OMG!!! even beyond Dawn's theshold!!! tsk! tsk! tsk! nevermind mabbe i really dun wanna know...
i am begining to think that as i grew up pretty much in a sheltered and church env, i dunno wat pple out there are realli like. to me, these discussion topics are things i will totally shy off. some things they say, tho not meant to be taken to heart, depicts a sense of lack of shame. i saw a decedent side of the world right next to me, or even i am part of but am ignorant to. have our values realli dissolved so much? or am i too uptight and traditional abt it? No, i cannot question my stand in staying Holy and acceptable before the Lord. wat difference, wat a gap... the prim and proper is out and the scandalous is in. i hardly consider myself tood or prim and proper or goody-2-shoes but with them, i am a saint. haha no kidding!
i left before the party's over. i was getting worried abt waking up the next day so i decided to leave first. not that i am expecting to go home with someone, but at 3am i thot the easterners would like go back together and the northeners etc. okay mabbe cos i left early, but shouldn't someone at least say" sms me when you reach home". again, i learn that gentlemenliness or concern should not be taken granted for. studio 9 guys, you are the best still. so sadly i got on a sotong taxi who did not know his way and was crawling like snail on ecp.... urgh!! wah realli man, if the cabby was up to no good last night that's it for me cos no one will even know. i dunno wat still lures me to wanna be part of the maps party group but realli i dun see myself a fit in it. 8月16日 :`) lazyArgh... i can't believe sch started!!!! i am so lazy to do anything lah. dun wanna research on one-north dun wanna do guest lect!!! yes i am still very sotong abt when there is class too! such a klutz! i am really good at nuahing.. i almost nuahed my whole say away. other then doing the guest lect report of course. i can't believe it i woke at at 1140 this morning. yes it is still morning thank God. i have been insomiac for a few nights already. i dunno how. i can only "day dream" myself to sleep. sigh...
i have been nuaghty naughty. leaving msg on someone's blog as Anonymous. yah lah i am still following his blog. but my msg have left his guessing abt who i am hahahaha just teasing him is fun. i swear this is all purely harmless, it is not my way of getting his attention. he did some novice interior design and i just had to ask wat software he use like pro like dat. well he did ask if he knows me but i am not saying. i think this is enuff. i doubt he will chance upon my blog so haha its okay to share here. i think i might not get into a relationship so easily. saw a short snippet of ophrah show just now. and it is abt how some women allow themselves to grow fat as a protective sheild. cos they dun wanna attract the wrong man and get hurt. is my blubber my sheild? mabbe. but it is sure a very good one if it is. it block out both the right and wrong man. there is very much little i can do i believe. i cannot stop my medication even sometimes i forget and i get very bad side effects. mabbe the mood swings is also one of the reasons why i am so unapproachable. stoopid side effects... sorry gals if i seem a bit chao bin last week, was in my bout of mood swings. God help me curb my mood swings and weight despite the medication k? 8月11日 '``,.~planet shakers!!went to the planet shakers concert today! it was pretty cool but haha too teeny boopy for me. wells mabbe i was with my frens that are all non believers. but it was good as in pretty fun entertainement for my frens even. dunno wat they caught from this but i trust that God has planted a seed in their hearts and they truly enjoy themselves.  8月8日 sickSniffing Snuffing wibbly snort
on top of that i've got a cough
too worn from this minor ill of mine
all my body's bone ain't right.
too weary of the family ills
too young to bear any financial bills.
my only possible escapism act
to dwell in the house of my heavenly dad.
let me get drunk on His spirit
and lost in His awe,
for in that place i could forget all.
save in His arms shelter beneath the wings
of my mighty Abba King.
8月5日 my daytoday is my day!! as in i dun have any activities planned. so waking up late, enjoying a slow breakfast... argh... wat luxury! i wanted to go for facial but cindy spun me again!! why do i have the feeling she doesn't want this customer who has been paying students price for the longest period ever. time to look for another beautician? anyways i went shopping, wells with target in mind so i bought quite a few things!! bought the xtra long polo tee @ $13 yeah!! thank God i din buy it on impluse b4 sale. it comes with a belt too so it is quite worth it. and i bought myself another pair of neckermmans sandles. they are just so comfy i wore it almost every single day. i can understand the obession of some with berkinstocks now. and now for the unplanned it is a $26 top from bugis village. it has lantern sleeves so cute!!! abit pricy for bugis village but wells i like it and it fits me well. thats the prob with me. cos i am big if i see something that fits me well chances are i will buy it. and indulge, indulge i went for manicure and pedicure. kinda regret my toe colours. it is a really stange green. me and my taste for unconventional things... i just had to choose a colour that they dun have much shades in. when will i learn to be a dainty lady and just stick with pretty pink and french nails.... perhaps never!! hahaha mabbe gothic french one day if any one will do it for me.
am trying to rem the actions for the songs for worship on sun now. argh.. God bless me with the energy to keep up the whole worship. and of course my ankle will not slip out again... argh!! stupid ankle. thick make up on sun they say. i cannot imagine myself in it!! and i am sprouting pimples suddenly now, huge ones. think i am fallling sick. feel feverish. too heaty and running around and too little sleep. an i have been forgetting my medicine since the day i stop work. that is one full week now. horrible little girl!! *break to take my medicine* dung! can't find it. i have been misplacing too many things lately.. dunno wat's wrong with me. Oh God pls make me well enuff to go visitation tom. we have missed a week already. and we have not been meeting new patients. work thru me in that place Lord. i may be a scatterbrain, disorganised in thots and things and often neglecting things abt my own health and body but Lord i pray you will work your way in this piece of junk and in your ways you see the good within me and use me in your awesome ways. 8月3日 woohoo!!muahahaha!! went for the stage choir rehearsals just now. it was pretty tiring but wells like a good round for normal worship lor. "Never too tired to jump for the Lord!" i went and was plaesantly surprised to see 2 of the cutest guys (in my eyes) there. part of worship team. haha eye candy eye candy... but God is good in showing me His will making me si3 xin1. i had a pact with God: if we were meant to be, we will have an oppotunity within the week to speak to one another. if not God i know the answer is clear and i will stop imagining too much. this method is good and helps me not dwell on certian things. But really God is a selfish God. He will not tolerate 1/2 hearted attention even to eye candies. during the practice my specs sprang open out of the blue and i lost the screw. so i was "blind" for a large time on the rehearsals. my physical eyes were blocked so that my spiritual eyes could focus on the Lord and the Lord alone. How marvellous is that? I speak this not with a tone of sarcasm but truly God being Jelousy of me dividing my attention makes me feel so impt. i was loved and impt. He wants nothing but a whole hearted attention. Yes Lord i learn that! muacks!!
ps: my Thai frens, i realli din know i will see them there so they are not the reason why i can't go to the airport. i had commited myself to join the choir way way before i knew abt gcyc.
Gcyc has been a great deal of fun and insight for me and i certainly hope it is for all of u who went too! getting to know frens from Thailand even from FCBC but different tribes was great. Seeing God put a prayer burden in my heart and reviving a prayer warrior in me was even greater! the asean can have all the meetings they want but in the spiritual realm, the leaders of tomorrow come and align their hearts as one beating for the works in Christ Kingdom, that is precious. it doesn't matter on the political or diplomatic level wat it is but spiritually we see each other as brothers and sisters. how sweet is that, how powerful is that? i believe a war has began in the spiritaul realm, a war against the evil one to win the young ones back into the kingdom ofGod. |
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